How to Listen

About the Author

Oscar Trimboli is a seasoned leader and a passionate advocate for the art of listening. As the host of the Apple-award-winning podcast Deep Listening, Trimboli has dedicated his career to helping individuals and organizations enhance their communication skills. His insights are drawn from extensive experience in senior leadership roles at major corporations, including Microsoft, PeopleSoft, and Polycom. Trimboli’s expertise in fostering impactful conversations has made him a sought-after speaker, author, and mentor in the field of communication.

Main Idea

At a time when technological advancements have paradoxically led to more fractured and disconnected conversations, How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication by Oscar Trimboli offers a profound exploration of the essential skill of listening. The book underscores the importance of mastering listening as a means to improve relationships, reduce conflicts, and enhance communication at work and home. Trimboli introduces readers to the five levels of listening, providing practical exercises and tips to develop these skills progressively. The central premise is that true communication is not just about speaking but about effectively hearing and understanding others.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Why Listen?
3. Get Ready to Listen
4. Give and Pay Attention
5. Hear, See, and Sense
6. Explore the Backstory
7. Notice How it is Said
8. Focus on What is Unsaid
9. Listen for Their Meaning
10. Conclusion

Introduction

Effective communication is not merely about what is said; it is profoundly about how well we listen. In the introduction, Trimboli emphasizes that despite leaders spending up to 80% of their day listening, only a small fraction have received any formal training in listening skills. Listening is portrayed as both an art and a science—a skill that can transform the quality of our interactions and relationships. According to Trimboli, "Listening is the willingness to have your mind changed."

Trimboli makes a compelling case for the power of listening, noting that it can lead to shorter, more productive meetings, fewer misunderstandings, and healthier relationships at work and home. He stresses that listening is a practical and actionable skill that can be improved incrementally, conversation by conversation.

Why Listen?

Trimboli elucidates the significant costs associated with poor listening skills, both at an individual and organizational level. He argues that the inability to listen effectively leads to fractured relationships, isolation, and wasted human potential. For organizations, the repercussions are even more tangible, manifesting in lost customers, disengaged employees, and failed projects. Trimboli posits that mastering the art of listening can lead to more focused and effective conversations, reducing wasted effort and enhancing the overall quality of interactions.

"For companies, the cost of not listening is measured in lost customers, ignored employees, unsuccessful products and services, and unsustained profits." - Oscar Trimboli

The benefits of good listening are profound. Individuals feel more connected and valued when they are truly heard, leading to stronger relationships and a greater sense of community. In the workplace, effective listening can enhance team collaboration, boost morale, and drive innovation. Trimboli’s message is clear: to build sustainable and thriving organizations, we must cultivate the skill of listening.

Get Ready to Listen

Listening is not just about asking questions; it is about being fully present and aware of the potential distractions that can impede the process. Trimboli advises taking a few minutes before a conversation to prepare mentally, highlighting the importance of acknowledging both internal and external distractions. He suggests that this preparation shows respect for both oneself and the other party, creating a conducive environment for meaningful communication.